FOUR
WAYS IN HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICT
Are
you looking for Christian relationship help that enables you to handle conflict
differently? When someone starts an argument, the most common thing people do
is to respond in ways that escalate the situation. Proverbs 15:1 says,
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"
(NIV). Here are four ways you can put that advice into action and prevent
escalating the argument:
Don't
raise your voice. When someone is angry, it automatically puts your body into a
protective stance. Your adrenaline rises and you have an increase in energy.
This is often expressed by yelling at the person. When you yell, the person
will yell back at you and the argument will intensify.
Don't
react defensively. When you are attacked, you naturally want to defend
yourself. The problem is that when you react in a defensive manner, it prevents
you from listening openly to what the person is saying. Defensive tactics
include denying the accusation, blaming the other person, and attacking back.
It's obvious that these responses will increase the energy between the two of
you.
Don't
bring in old issues. The purpose of conflict is to get resolution. The only way
to do that is to focus on the issue at hand. When you bring in other problems,
you not only bring in the topic but the emotions and unresolved resentments
with it. That can't do anything other than increase the anger between the two
of you.
Don't
bring in sarcasm. Sarcasm means to tear flesh. It involves carefully chosen
words that are meant to undercut and hurt directly and indirectly. It can't do
anything but escalate the argument between the two of you because the person
will respond to the strike that comes with the sarcastic comment.
You
have a choice with how you respond to someone who comes to you with a conflict:
You can escalate and stir up anger or de-escalate and turn away wrath.