IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GROOM
In contemporary
Western culture, the bride is the centerpiece of every wedding ceremony. She
wears the long flowing dress, she enters to a “bridal march,” she parades down
the center aisle with the pomp and circumstance reserved for kings, and people
stand as she enters. It’s clearly all about the bride.
The lowly groom, on
the other hand, is an afterthought. He’s filler, the warm-up act for the main
attraction. Unlike the bride, he usually enters from a side door. He wears a
tux that some other groom will be wearing next weekend. And, for him, there is
no grand march—he often enters to what strikingly resembles elevator music.
The way we do
weddings today is quite different from the weddings of the Bible, especially
the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church.
The book of
Revelation describes the mother of all wedding scenes. But here it is the groom
who gets all the attention.
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him
glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride
has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7 (NIV)
It is the wedding
of the Lamb, not the wedding of the bride.
A couple of verses
later, the apostle John writes, Blessed are those who are
invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb. The spotlight is fixed firmly on the groom, Jesus.
When John the
Baptist settles an argument about his position in relationship to Jesus, he
uses wedding imagery to set the record straight. In no uncertain terms, he
declares he is simply a friend of the groom, that Jesus is the center of
attention.
But he also makes
an interesting statement about the bride.
The bride belongs to the bridegroom.
The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of
joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now
complete. John
3:29 (NIV)
The bride belongs
to the groom. That’s not only a statement about ancient marriage ritual, it’s also a great picture of the relationship
between the church and Jesus.
This has huge
implications for how we view the church in our generation and how we view our
roles as leaders in it.
In the last thirty
years within the church world, there has been a subtle shifting of the
spotlight. Inadvertently, in many places, it has become all about the bride
(the church) rather than the groom (Jesus). But, as John reminds us, the bride
belongs to the bridegroom. Or to say it another way, the bride exists for the
groom.
As a pastor, then,
my job is to watch after the bride on behalf of the groom. I am like a
spiritual wedding coordinator. The coordinator’s job is to assist and serve the
bride and groom, behind the scenes, in making their wedding day a meaningful
event.
No wedding
coordinator worth their salt would ever steal the spotlight from the bride and
groom.
There should never
be anything blocking the bride’s view of the Groom’s glory. My constant
challenge as a leader in the church is to get myself out of the way so that the
bride will be awestruck by his incomparable majesty of her groom.
One of the
indicators of spiritual disease in a church leader is a possessive spirit about
the bride. You can hear it in their words, you can feel it in their attitude, and
you can read it in their decisions. The church is “theirs.”
It’s helpful for me
to remind myself regularly that the church is not “mine.” I am a steward . . . Yes! I am a shepherd . . .
Yes! I am a leader . . . Yes! But, I am
not the owner, CEO, title-holder or groom of the church.
The bride belongs
to the bridegroom. Thus, the church is not my personal trophy or sandbox or
project. I hold it as a sacred trust to steward on behalf of the groom, who’s
asked me to look after his bride until he comes for her.
Your church is not
your personal business venture. You are an undershepherd
called to care for the sheep on behalf of the owner.”
In a healthy church
Jesus is the most famous person. He gets the most airtime, he is the most
talked about, and he is clearly center stage. He is seen as the head of the
church, and the leadership does their best to spread his fame.
Is your place in
ministry blocking the spotlight from hitting squarely on Jesus? When the
leader’s role or importance is overemphasized, a subtle shift can take place in
our minds and spirits. We can start to play the role of owner rather than
steward.
When things get
really unhealthy, we can step in front of the groom and put the spotlight on
us.
Like John Piper
says, “Christ does not exist to make much of us. We exist in order to enjoy
making much of Him.”